About Me

This past year has been one of tremendous growth for me. I lost my mother to cancer last January 18, 2009. The few months that followed were extremely difficult for me. I was a new mommy myself, my son was only 5 months old when she went home to be with Jesus. I found comfort in knowing she was with our Savior, but I still struggled with anger, loss, and depression. I am thankful that the Lord was so patient with me and allowed me the time I needed to grieve. I walked through a very dark period of bitterness and self-pity (I'm still not sure how my husband put up with me back then, or anyone for that matter). Until one day everything changed...

I was in church when our pastor felt he had a word to share with someone. He said he didn't know who it was for and proceeded to share what God had placed on his heart. He said that someone in the congregation was struggling with a very hard situation in their life, that God understood and loved them, but if they continued on the path of negativity and self-pity they were on, it would turn into very dangerous territory. He shared that the Lord had allowed this person a period of time to be angry, a season, but if it weren't fully given to Him that morning, it would turn into an anger against God.

As soon as I heard those words, I knew my heavenly Father was speaking to me. I was devastated to know that I had allowed my grief to take me to such an angry place with Him. I had no idea I had allowed it to tighten its grip on me as strongly as it had. I was so thankful for my Father's mercy and that He was graciously willing to take the baggage I had been carrying for too long. Sobbing, and through many tears I asked for God's forgiveness, and the shackles of grief were left there that very day. I was free. He showed me I could still mourn the loss of my mother, miss and love her, but do it in LOVE and not anger.

From that day on, I grew more and more into His will for my life. Instead of looking at the negative, I started to look at things through the eyes of my Savior. He has shown me how wonderful it is to give...how wonderful it is to help people in the middle of your own pain. There is nothing more beautiful than being a blessing to someone else. And, I'll tell you what...there is no better way to get yourself off of your mind.

I am not saying I am anywhere near perfection. I have a long, long way to go. Even the apostle Paul said, "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 3:12-14. He wrote that 20 years after he began his walk with the Lord. If someone who is responsible for writing nearly the entire new testament can say they're still on a journey, that gives me a lot of hope!

You and I are on the very same journey. We are all trying to leave our past behind us, strain toward what is ahead, and press on toward the goal/prize for which God has called us heavenward in Christ Jesus. We ALL have skeletons in our closets and we all have a past. Don't allow it to keep you from being a new creature in the Lord today though. We are His hands and feet, and God works through people. So, let's make a difference my friends!
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